Ernie didn't start out as a sticker. He was once a profoundly ambitious goldfish living in a moderately clean suburban bowl, possessing a singular existential dread: blinking. While other fish accepted the watery monotony of their tank, Ernie stared unblinkingly at the outside world, absorbing every drop of human drama unfolding in the living room.

One fateful afternoon, during a particularly intense episode of a reality TV show, a rogue burst of static electricity from the television zapped his bowl. Ernie transcended his physical form, transforming into a glossy, waterproof anglerfish sticker equipped with violently oversized googly eyeballs.

Now, he lives a nomadic life on the back of laptops, water bottles, and stop signs, eternally startled by whatever is happening behind him. He cannot swim, he cannot breathe air, but boy, can he judge your typing speed.