Meet Ax. Unlike standard axolotls who spend their days gracefully pondering the mysteries of Lake Xochimilco, Ax was cursed with an existential flaw: absolute, unyielding zero thoughts behind his eyes.

To fix this, a clumsy underwater wizard tried to enchant him with a pair of magical, omniscient "All-Seeing Orbs." Unfortunately, the wizard completely missed his head, glued the rattling plastic googly eyes right onto his forehead, and accidentally dropped him straight out of the water and onto your sticker sheet.

Now, Ax is trapped in a permanent state of wide-eyed panic, staring directly into dimensions you can't even comprehend. He doesn't know where he is, he doesn't know how he's breathing air, but wherever you stick him—be it a water bottle, laptop, or notebook—he is going to judge your life choices with supreme, vibrating intensity.

Warning: Shaking the sticker will not make him think faster.